Transitions

Transitions. Life is about transitions. For example, before you head into work in the morning there are a series of transitions to be made.
Phase 1. A "checklist" if you will. 1) Appropriate volume fade out of rocking tune you drove in listening to. 2) Make sure fly is zipped. 3) Check for boogies (come on people, both EYES and NOSE, I'm so over seeing your eye boogies). It's a go. Now for the walk into the building. This is your opportunity to mentally prepare yourself for a mentally unstimulated day on the job. The building is with in vision range. Anxiety sets it... do I abort? ShiT. No, no, no... it's cool. Just go in. Make a smooth transition into the office. Be charming and cheerful. Be "yourself". Eye contact with smokers = half grin/head nod combo. You're in. It wreaks of fax, pleated front dockers and quarterly figures. MMMmmm... now for that black piss they call coffee in the cafeteria. Wonderful. There are 6 people in line ahead of me. Aren't these people at all embarrassed to order ONLY bacon? "Um yes, I'd like 5 pieces of bacon and 2 hard boiled eggs." I'm sorry, but I can actually hear the plaque coagulating in your arteries. I choke back vomit as I accidentally imagine a humpbacked middle aged black woman naked. I should have aborted this mission earlier during phase 1 of my transition. The woman ahead of me is one of those super organized people. She has a holster for her antibacterial hand elixir on the outside of her purse. She has the exact amount of change counted and in her hand (tax included, she's done this before folks). She has her own special cup that she fills with ice and soda. Her bangs are immaculate. Lots of lipstick. Finally, eye contact with the counter girl. I like her because she despises fucking with these people too. We understand each other, and as such my coffee is free of charge. Merci. I'd go for creamer, but there are always these really disgusting little chunks of dried up crusty dairy product on the edge of the spout. No thanks. ( Quick side note: do you realize that we drink a liquid that is produced by a cow's mammary gland? A mammary gland is essentially a glorified sweat gland. Whose idea was this?)

Being that I am currently at work, I think if I continue writing about this and then reflect upon it... there is a good chance the abortion of my job will come to fruition. And, I'm not sure I'm down with abortion. It only gets worse. Maybe later.