free advice

A bit of free advice-

"orange spice black tea" tastes like one of those burps after you swallow a vitamin and it gets stuck in your throat.

First friday is going to be fun. Be advised.

Gas Ex dated expiration 3/05 isn't at all effective.

wearing a sweater from a thrift store before washing it will most likely result in a rash.

your quality of life will improve by 300% if you implement "wearing a wig" into your daily regiment.

using the word pussy in mixed company will result in awkwardness. (sorry for making you feel awkward just now.)

they sell those orange push pops with fred flinstone on them at the CVS downtown. yums.

you cannot cut through a desk made of fake wood with scissors. but you can severely damage it. whoops. another failed workplace experiment.

If you aren't cool enough to pull off a wink when sober...do not try to wink in a photo while drinking. you will look like you are in pain. exhibit A:

i hope that at some point a portion of this free advice will save you from unnecessary embarrassment, rashes etc.