New York is for movers and shakers. Luckily, I'm all about movin and shakin. Generally I do most of my movin and shakin on the dance floor...not hustlin fake prada bags in Chinatown. The city is a sensory overload in the best possible way. The best food. Art. Music. Style. Accents. A million accents. A million smells. A hundred new faces to study and life stories to imagine on every subway ride.
I will say however that I wasn't impressed with that giant tree in Rockefeller center. They should've just left it growing in the forest with all the snow bunnies, squirrels and other beautiful tree friends.
My mom always told me that whenever someone was a butthole to me I should imagine them as a baby (I guess because it's hard to get pissed at a baby). Instead, I usually just imagine them naked. There are lots of naked people working for US Airways. Everyone is stark ass naked at the US Airways lost luggage call center. They are naked and furry and look like the cavemen from the Geico commercials. Unfortunately, these luggage call center workers are not as intelligent as cavemen. I would like to do an undercover expose story on the happenings at these lost luggage centers. I'd apply for a job. I would then show up for my interview completely shit faced wearing Zubaz admitting to them that I'd only completed the 4th grade. Upon my hiring I'd recite the "missed connections" postings from Craigslist into the phone and fire off my electronic whoopie cushion in response to callers looking for their bags... just waiting to see how many months it took me to get fired. My guess: I could make it a full year.
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