donating blood.

I am an upstanding citizen. I intend to donate my very own blood to some desperate colorless person who is bleeding to death. Last time they rejected my blood. Not the best feeling to be sitting there... after a blood test-- which scans for AIDS-- and told that the results were bad. Seriously. Start by saying "Good news is, you don't have AIDS..." then segway into the part about how I have low iron and should eat a steak. Can you drink alcohol the night before you donate? Hmmm. Would the person who is fortuitously gifted with some Erin running through their veins also luck upon a free buzz? Like that Seinfeld episode when Jerry gets some Kramer in him... Giddy-up.

fridays are for hummus wrap lovers.

stop what you are doing. grab your car keys or your bike or your roller blades... or if you are a tremendous dork hop on your Segway. go to the Abbey and get a chai latte. NOW. do this. order a hummus wrap. next, exit the Abbey after procuring the wrap and frothy warm chai and hop back on your bike. look ridiculous as you try to ride and balance a scalding hot beverage. ride until you find a sunny spot on the sidewalk. then just sit. sit and let the flavor explosions rock your body. sit in the sun on the sidewalk. not on a bench or alongside a building, sit right smack dab in the middle of the sidewalk. be downtown. make people feel awkward. make erotic sounds as you eat and sip your beverage. talk to your tea. don't move when people try to use the sidewalk. not even if it's a baby carriage or wheelchair. just sit there and make love to the hummus. do this and all will be revealed. today i've reached samadhi. enlightenment. thank you sidewalk. thank you abbey. thank you sunshine.

Good morning, internet. I'm home.

This here internet sure is fancy. I just got an email directly from Barack Obama. He wrote it himself and addressed it to me specifically. Then, you won't believe this, his WIFE wrote me one too. Just me. They must have talked about me all night. Saying "That Erin Morgan, she really has some pull in that newly swinging state, Indiana. We should both send her a personal email."

Come on guys. Do you think I'm F-ing retarded. I'm already voting for Barack. You don't have to insult me with the faux personal emails like amazon.com does... As if I would really vote Palin into office and watch her club baby seals on her free weekends. I've noticed new signs lately that just say "SARAH!!" I imagine people putting them in their yards thinking "cool! my name is Sarah too! She has cool eye glasses." Then, on their way to grab dinner for the fam at McDonalds, they scoot over to the Greenwood Park Mall and buy a cheap ass rhinestone "S" necklace from Claire's.

That Claire's place is a panic attack waiting to happen. Last time I went in there looking for halloween costume accessories I was nearly prosecuted for shoplifting because all sorts of crap got caught and hung on my sweater as I tried to squeeze through a Hannah Montana wig display. Sweating profusely, my senses drowned by the sound of The PussyCat Dolls... fight or flight kicks in... I drop everything and run.

super duper glue

I like glue. I've never huffed it, but I bet I'd like that too. I like glue because it's magical and it makes me feel like a fancy wizard. Gorilla Glue is rad. My Gorilla Glue was taken away after a gluing incident over a year ago, and I just recently found where it was hidden!! Sucka! Not too long ago I bought this awesome mirror at Audrey's Place (amazing thrift store in east 10th street HOOD) and then broke it the next day. Fooey. This calls for glue. Lots of sweet sweet magical glue. On this gluing occasion I opted for straight up super glue (this was before I found my gorilla goodness). I glued my fingers together. It hurt like a mo-fo ripping my fingers apart. It was then that I thought "this feels a lot like waxing". Luckily, before I touched the glue to my eyebrow region my cat, Mr. Meow Meow Head, talked me out of it. Shew. This is not meant to be a cry for help... but someone might want to call that show Intervention. They will probably be disappointed to find that I'm not injecting glue into my eyeballs or between my toes. But, I'm thinking a hillarious parity show of Intervention would be suitable. Anyone have a video camera? I have some ideas.

napoleon

work is for jerks. i just took a majestic stance for a few moments in front of the fan with my foot on a chair. felt a whole lot like napoleon and a little bit like erin in a music video.

napoleon
croissants
berets
thank you france.